| Caring for dependent relatives, often elderly parents or | | | | the person that you're caring for into a day center for |
| special-needs children, can be one of the most isolating | | | | a couple of afternoons a week. You might be able to |
| experiences most people ever have to face. | | | | arrange for respite care, as well, which means the |
| Becoming a carer can sometimes be rewarding, but it's | | | | person that you're caring for is taken into hospital for |
| hardly ever easy. Here are some tips to help you to | | | | one or two weeks every year to let you have a |
| survive it. | | | | holiday. |
| 1) Get all the help and benefits you can. Many people | | | | This is not being selfish, merely realistic. Caring for |
| are too proud to ask for help, and many more don't | | | | someone can very tiring, both physically and |
| even know what help's available. In the UK, for | | | | emotionally, so you need to be able to recharge your |
| example, it's believed that £750 million of benefits | | | | batteries as often as you can. |
| available to carers are unclaimed. No matter how | | | | 4) Keep up some interests of your own, and make |
| much you love the person that you're caring for, in | | | | sure you have at least some social life, even if it's |
| terms of both lost income and financial outlay, caring | | | | mainly chatting to your friends by phone or e-mail. |
| costs you, big-time. | | | | Caring can very easily come to dominate your life, and |
| Many people aren't aware of how much till they're in | | | | if you have no other interests to give you a balanced |
| financial difficulty. If you don't know what's available to | | | | perspective your morale can very quickly go to pieces. |
| you, ask your doctor where you can find out. It's not | | | | Many carers understandably fall victim to depression, |
| just about money, either. Sometimes practical help, like | | | | and you won't do yourself or the person that you care |
| wheelchairs, disabled access ramps, hand-rails and | | | | for any favors by becoming one of them. |
| alarm buttons, can be made available at no cost, or at | | | | It can be hard to organize, but try to spend at least a |
| least reduced rates. | | | | little time each day doing something for yourself, even |
| 2) Get all the emotional and practical support you can, | | | | if it's just spending an hour reading while the person |
| too. Caring can be a very lonely life, and friends can | | | | that you're caring for is sleeping. YOU have a life, as |
| start to disappear when you're not so readily available | | | | well, and the right to some enjoyment. |
| for evenings out, etc. Even those who stay the course | | | | 5) It's important that you keep your self-esteem high. |
| can find it hard to listen to the things you feel the need | | | | Caring is demanding, and it's all too easy to let your |
| to talk about, and you're likely to find their conversation | | | | mind fill with the difficulties of your situation rather than |
| very trivial compared to what you're dealing with. | | | | all the good things you're achieving in it. |
| It's a good idea to have the company at least | | | | Focus each day on something that's gone well for you. |
| occasionally of people who understand because | | | | It doesn't matter if it's quite a small thing - all carers |
| they're doing what you're doing. If there's a local | | | | know that even a small victory in such a demanding |
| support group, it's a good idea to check it out - if not, | | | | situation is a great achievement. |
| it's worth looking for a carers' discussion group online. | | | | Relax deeply every day to banish stress, and train |
| 3) Make sure you get some time off. This is absolutely | | | | yourself to flood your mind with pleasant images |
| vital, and not likely to be offered unless you make a | | | | before you go to sleep. It takes some practice, but it's |
| point of saying that you need it. It's no reflection on | | | | the best way of waking up refreshed and ready for |
| your abilities as a carer, or your love for the person | | | | the new day. |
| that you're caring for, but you need to take at least | | | | Above all, don't be too hard on yourself if you feel |
| some care of yourself if you're going to take effective | | | | you're not the perfect carer. No-one is. All you can do |
| care of anybody else. | | | | is the best that YOU can do. No-one can ask for |
| Try to arrange for someone to take your place for a | | | | more. |
| few hours at the weekend, for example, or else to get | | | | |