| The ironies of life are bizarre - life is a mix of joy and | | | | responsible for the loss and this in turn may induce a |
| sorrow for most of us, but while we need not | | | | chain of accusations. These could either be |
| necessarily be well versed in understanding joy and | | | | self-accusations that one could have done something, |
| happiness, we have to know how to comprehend the | | | | or abstained from doing something, to avert the |
| opposite - grief.Grief is an emotion or psychological | | | | catastrophe; or, the blame could be laid at the door of |
| state occasioned by a sense of loss. The loss could | | | | other individuals or institutions like hospitals or the police |
| be that of a family member or a friend, loss of a job, | | | | who might be involved in the circumstances leading to |
| loss of a spouse through divorce, or even a perceived | | | | the demise. Wherever death is caused by acts of |
| loss of an opportunity for professional betterment. | | | | terrorism, kidnapping for ransom, driving negligence or |
| However it is the bereavement caused by the loss of | | | | similar sudden and totally irrational events, the feelings |
| a dear one that causes the greatest sorrow.Loss of a | | | | of extreme anger and outrage will focus naturally on |
| person through death is a one-way street - it | | | | any identifiable perpetrator of the incident.Bitterness |
| represents somebody gone permanently, never to be | | | | and depression are inseparable from grief and loss. |
| retrieved. There is no 'and Found' phrase attached to it. | | | | Hopelessness regarding reversal of the loss weighs |
| As is the case with all other emotions, the only way to | | | | down heavily, causing sleeplessness, loss of appetite |
| understand it fully is to experience it. Grief is a | | | | and consequent inertia. This is by far the most difficult |
| complicated emotion to analyze. It is partly an | | | | phase to travel, because this is the period of |
| expression of self-pity that the loved one is no longer | | | | arguments and battles within oneself and this route has |
| around and is missed painfully; it is also a feeling of | | | | to be traversed before one arrives at resignation to |
| regret for all the pleasures that the dead person will | | | | the loss and its eventual acceptance. In this stage a |
| never be able to share and the dreams that will never | | | | person frequently relapses into the states of anger, |
| be fulfilled. Most often it is a hopelessly intertwined mix | | | | blame and total negativity with regard to life. Envy of |
| of both these strands of deprivation.The mechanism | | | | others who have not suffered in similar fashion is |
| of handling grief is obviously highly individualized; people | | | | another common reaction, compounding the bitterness |
| also vary in the time that they require to go through | | | | and the ' why - me' syndrome.Dealing with grief is not |
| the grieving process and reach the stage of | | | | easy, but has to be accomplished to carry on with life. |
| acceptance, reconciliation and self-rejuvenation. | | | | Family and social support systems can play an |
| However there are certain basic universal responses | | | | invaluable role in this regard. Speaking out to a family |
| in the grief cycle and everyone goes through some or | | | | member or a friend can be a source of immense relief |
| all of these phases.Some accept that a loss has | | | | when the immediate shock has passed. Crying offers |
| occurred and enter the grieving process early; on the | | | | a cathartic outlet for unexpressed, pent-up emotions |
| other hand others continue in a state of denial, refusing | | | | and memories. Resuming work as well as physical |
| to recognize the reality of the loss and its implications. | | | | activities such as walking and exercise is very crucial |
| The severity of the shock leads to numbness and a | | | | to the healing process. Professional counseling must be |
| kind of emotional paralysis. In the case of sudden loss | | | | sought in cases of severe trauma and depression.With |
| of a loved one, this emotional inaction acts as a | | | | the best of efforts and assistance coping with grief |
| temporary shock absorber and a buffer between the | | | | and loss is a huge battle; and, victory, if it can be called |
| trauma and its acceptance.Anger and outrage are | | | | that, is rarely complete. The smallest triggers can |
| common reactions. The question 'Why did it have to | | | | cause a flood of memories and release intense, |
| happen to me?' has no answers, but is asked | | | | unspeakable pain. It is said that during life, a person's |
| repeatedly, especially if the loss is untimely. The | | | | belongings are just taken for granted; when the person |
| anchors of religion and faith are severely shaken and | | | | passes away the same little personal possessions get |
| hitherto dearly held philosophies of life come unstuck in | | | | a life of their own and become potently |
| the gush of perception of an undeserved deal from | | | | meaningfulGrief is the most natural and normal process |
| destiny. The feeling of the unfairness of the deprivation | | | | of coping with loss; it has great therapeutic value and |
| leads to bitterness and self-pity.The questioning phase | | | | has to be encountered, endured and experienced |
| sometimes matures into an analysis of the factors | | | | before attaining a state of peace with oneself. |