| It must be awful being a publisher.
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| | famous people to do is divert us, take us
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| Working in a Traditional Publishing firm
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| | away from the mundanity we already know
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| must be like working in the industry of
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| | and let us dip our toes into the pond
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| flood prevention in Holland. In that
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| | that is celebrity. It doesn't have to
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| country, nearly seventy per cent of the
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| | well written, it just needs to have
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| land is lower than the sea level, so it's
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| | enough gossip to titillate and amuse. If
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| a constant battle to make sure that the
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| | there's references to other famous
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| barriers and dykes are well serviced and
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| | people, so much the better - it'll save
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| watertight, otherwise water will flood in
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| | having to read their life story. One book
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| and houses and people will be
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| | could cover several. Even better if it's
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| overwhelmed. Publishers say they know
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| | a husband and wife team. If famous people
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| that feeling. In their case it's not
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| | marry each other, our curiosity is
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| water, though, it's brown envelopes.
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| | tickled even more. So much to learn! So
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| Every day the postman staggers in to
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| | little time.
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| their office with a heavy sack on their
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| | Internet Authors don't need to worry
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| shoulder - like Santa at Christmas Eve -
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| | about such matters. There's no hurdle for
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| and unloads a stack of submissions onto
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| | them that says, 'If you're not famous,
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| any spare surface available - desk, shelf
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| | you're not getting in'. They can go to an
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| or floor. Then minions have to turn the
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| | on-line publishing firm like Lulu and
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| envelopes over and try and identify who
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| | upload their book, then they can print
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| they're from and whether they're worth
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| | off as many copies as they need, passing
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| reading. Anything with a famous name will
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| | them round to friends and relatives, and
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| get looked at. Most other stuff hangs
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| | placing a few in local bookstores. They
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| about for a bit, and then gets returned.
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| | can even pay a small amount for a listing
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| If you're not famous, you're ignored.
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| | in on-line bookshops like Amazon, so that
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| Tough but true. Meanwhile the publishing
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| | people can order their own copies, either
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| staff, despite leaving the majority of
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| | soon or in the future. Meanwhile they're
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| submissions alone, still feel like
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| | in the market, and there's still that
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| they're drowning under the flood of
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| | dream of 'being noticed', of being
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| paper. They take manuscripts home at
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| | spotted and taken up by a national
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| night. They read them on the bus or train
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| | publisher, or one of the Traditional
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| coming in to work in the morning. There's
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| | names. If so, maybe a career beckons, the
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| a sea of chapters around them, all the
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| | life of 'author' and the small amount of
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| time threatening to cover them
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| | celebrity that will entail. If not,
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| completely. No wonder they feel under
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| | they've still found a home for their
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| pressure.
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| | creation and still seen the work in
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| Luckily, there's some joy in the job, and
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| | print.
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| that's when a piece turns up that's a joy
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| | The alternative? Your work, so lovingly
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| to read. Suddenly the weight lifts from
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| | crafted, polished and presented, may be
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| their shoulders. The plot drags them in,
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| | scuffed around the floor of an already
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| the characters stir them, the dialogue
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| | overcrowded office, not being noticed
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| sparkles. The words leap off the page and
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| | because no one knows your name. You
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| everyone is hooked. Mark that one up for
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| | haven't got the fame - yet - and so you
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| publication, they cry!
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| | can't get the attention. It's a vicious
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| Then there's the actual stuff they
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| | circle and few writers will ever break in
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| publish. Check any Bestseller List and
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| | and join the enchanted few. Most will
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| you'll see that it isn't the above, the
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| | languish, their books still in the brown
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| genuine work of literature, the 'joy to
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| | envelopes, right up to the time they are
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| read' that we've just discussed. At the
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| | taken out, given a Rejection Slip, and
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| moment the fastest selling books as
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| | put back into the Stamped Addressed
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| listed in the daily newspaper are all by
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| | Envelope and returned. Undaunted, the
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| people you already know - singers,
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| | ambitious author and would-be writer will
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| comedians, musicians, actors, TV stars
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| | try again, and again, doing nothing
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| and sports people. Do their words grab
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| | except contribute small waves to the
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| you? No, but people want to read this
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| | flood that may, one day, overwhelm the
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| stuff. Do they shock, enlighten, educate
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| | insecure offices of each of those
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| and entertain? Not at all, but then,
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| | Traditional Publishers.
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| that's not what we want. What we ask
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