| It must be awful being a publisher. | | | | famous people to do is divert us, take |
| Working in a Traditional Publishing firm | | | | us away from the mundanity we already |
| must be like working in the industry of | | | | know and let us dip our toes into the |
| flood prevention in Holland. In that | | | | pond that is celebrity. It doesn't have |
| country, nearly seventy per cent of the | | | | to well written, it just needs to have |
| land is lower than the sea level, so | | | | enough gossip to titillate and amuse. If |
| it's a constant battle to make sure that | | | | there's references to other famous |
| the barriers and dykes are well serviced | | | | people, so much the better - it'll save |
| and watertight, otherwise water will | | | | having to read their life story. One |
| flood in and houses and people will be | | | | book could cover several. Even better if |
| overwhelmed. Publishers say they know | | | | it's a husband and wife team. If famous |
| that feeling. In their case it's not | | | | people marry each other, our curiosity |
| water, though, it's brown envelopes. | | | | is tickled even more. So much to learn! |
| Every day the postman staggers in to | | | | So little time. |
| their office with a heavy sack on their | | | | Internet Authors don't need to worry |
| shoulder - like Santa at Christmas Eve - | | | | about such matters. There's no hurdle |
| and unloads a stack of submissions onto | | | | for them that says, 'If you're not |
| any spare surface available - desk, | | | | famous, you're not getting in'. They can |
| shelf or floor. Then minions have to | | | | go to an on-line publishing firm like |
| turn the envelopes over and try and | | | | Lulu and upload their book, then they |
| identify who they're from and whether | | | | can print off as many copies as they |
| they're worth reading. Anything with a | | | | need, passing them round to friends and |
| famous name will get looked at. Most | | | | relatives, and placing a few in local |
| other stuff hangs about for a bit, and | | | | bookstores. They can even pay a small |
| then gets returned. If you're not | | | | amount for a listing in on-line |
| famous, you're ignored. Tough but true. | | | | bookshops like Amazon, so that people |
| Meanwhile the publishing staff, despite | | | | can order their own copies, either soon |
| leaving the majority of submissions | | | | or in the future. Meanwhile they're in |
| alone, still feel like they're drowning | | | | the market, and there's still that dream |
| under the flood of paper. They take | | | | of 'being noticed', of being spotted and |
| manuscripts home at night. They read | | | | taken up by a national publisher, or one |
| them on the bus or train coming in to | | | | of the Traditional names. If so, maybe a |
| work in the morning. There's a sea of | | | | career beckons, the life of 'author' and |
| chapters around them, all the time | | | | the small amount of celebrity that will |
| threatening to cover them completely. No | | | | entail. If not, they've still found a |
| wonder they feel under pressure. | | | | home for their creation and still seen |
| Luckily, there's some joy in the job, | | | | the work in print. |
| and that's when a piece turns up that's | | | | The alternative? Your work, so lovingly |
| a joy to read. Suddenly the weight lifts | | | | crafted, polished and presented, may be |
| from their shoulders. The plot drags | | | | scuffed around the floor of an already |
| them in, the characters stir them, the | | | | overcrowded office, not being noticed |
| dialogue sparkles. The words leap off | | | | because no one knows your name. You |
| the page and everyone is hooked. Mark | | | | haven't got the fame - yet - and so you |
| that one up for publication, they cry! | | | | can't get the attention. It's a vicious |
| Then there's the actual stuff they | | | | circle and few writers will ever break |
| publish. Check any Bestseller List and | | | | in and join the enchanted few. Most will |
| you'll see that it isn't the above, the | | | | languish, their books still in the brown |
| genuine work of literature, the 'joy to | | | | envelopes, right up to the time they are |
| read' that we've just discussed. At the | | | | taken out, given a Rejection Slip, and |
| moment the fastest selling books as | | | | put back into the Stamped Addressed |
| listed in the daily newspaper are all by | | | | Envelope and returned. Undaunted, the |
| people you already know - singers, | | | | ambitious author and would-be writer |
| comedians, musicians, actors, TV stars | | | | will try again, and again, doing nothing |
| and sports people. Do their words grab | | | | except contribute small waves to the |
| you? No, but people want to read this | | | | flood that may, one day, overwhelm the |
| stuff. Do they shock, enlighten, educate | | | | insecure offices of each of those |
| and entertain? Not at all, but then, | | | | Traditional Publishers. |
| that's not what we want. What we ask | | | | |