Working With Difficult People, Without Being One

What is the definition of a 'difficult' person? Do youShe answered, "Nobody ever hugged me before or
ever wonder why some people are difficult to besaid they loved me." Here was a child crying out for
with?love and every one thought she was just being difficult.
A difficult person may be someone who wasAs we get older we still crave love, and so we act
physically or verbally abused as a child. They mayout, like that little girl that just wanted someone to say,
have been dyslexic, uncoordinated or bullied in school."I love you."
Life may have been very difficult for them, and they'veUsing this viewpoint, there is no such thing as a 'difficult'
carried this over into their adult life.person, only someone who behaves differently from
Everyone is looking for love in their own way, but aour model of how they should be behaving. It's good to
'difficult' person may not think they deserve love orremember that from their point of view, they may be
even know how to receive love. They may not knowdoing just fine and may be thinking about how difficult
what love is all about or how to let people into their life.you are.
Couldn't this apply to most people?When you become more aware of your own feelings,
When you think of a person who is 'difficult', putstop running on automatic drive, and start taking control
yourself in their shoes to see how you would react ifof your own life with positive feelings, you will be
you had their lifestyle, their upbringing, or theirsurprised at how much easier it is to deal with 'difficult'
programming.people.
In the Bible, Luke 6:41: says "Why do you look at theLOOK FOR THE COMMON GROUND
speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay noBy Tom Dalton
attention to the plank in your own eye?" Other peopleLiving in a world of people, how do we survive?
are our mirror. What we may not like about anotherLiving with so many people, when will we realize
person reflects something we may not like aboutYou and 1, we're so alike. You and 1, we're so a like.
ourselves.And when I feel that I am right and you are wrong
Try not to judge. We are often not aware of howI just smile when I see your face
judgmental we are. We think that people are not 'usingRemember there's a oneness space.
their heads' when they do not think the same way weTry to see the world through your eyes
do. Accept people for what they are, not what youAnd even If our point of view may seem to disagree
want them to be.There's something we can understand,
Everyone works out of his or her own programming. ItI think that you'll agree.
is our programming that creates our actions and alsoWe have to look for the common ground,
influences the reactions of people around us.You can find it all around
Difficult ChildrenLook for the love in everyone
I remember how it was when I was volunteering at theEven if it's hard to see, you can find the unity.
Children's Receiving Home, a home for children thatJust look for the love in everyone.
were very difficult, especially those who ran awayIn our living day to day, it's easy to forget
repeatedly.All our talk of brotherhood Just doesn't seem to fit.
Every evening before I left to go home, I would goThere's a lot of broken hearts with nothing left to
around the room and give each child a hug and say, "Ibelieve
love you."Now it's time we made a start,
There was one little girl about 6-years-old who was aIt's up to you and me.
constant runaway. After I hugged her and said "I loveLook for that common ground,
you" she started to cry.Look for the love in everyone.
"Why are you crying?" I asked.