What Causes People to Shut Down and Disengage From Conversation?

Due to the power differential between leaders andfeel like the team member is holding back information,
their team members, leaders must learn not only howask a slightly more specific question (What are the top
to tolerate criticism, but also to restrict their criticism offive priorities in your department right now?). You might
others. When we are criticized, we feel like our bodieslearn that the problem with the shelf life was already
are under attack. This fear or panic causes ourdetected. If so, you would now know who detected
prehistoric, reptilian brain to flood with blood. Rationalthe problem, how, and when. With this information, you
thought is restricted, and, instead, we concentrate oncould set about correcting this systemic problem. 5. If
our bodily impulses: fight or flight. A "flooded" personthe team member does not consider the shelf-life
(whether it is the leader or a team member) is of littleissue the top priority, ask why. You might find that you
use when there is a problem to be solved.Debra, aneed to re-order your priorities as a result.6. It the team
COO of a very large food manufacturer in themember's answer still does not take into account all
Southwest, grew tired of notifying department headsthe consequences you foresee, drill down one level
about problems she found, like the shortened shelf lifedeeper with your questions (What impact will the
of a potato that was roasted in a new oil. "I want toshelf-life have on inventory?).
know what we are doing to solve this problem!" sheEven constructive criticism can feel like an attack. By
would demand at the beginning of a meeting. "Andasking questions, you disarm the reptilian-brain
why didn't anyone bring this problem to my attention?"functions. No longer will team members be paralyzed
She ranted and railed because she wanted her teamby fight-or-flight responses. They will be prepared to
to detect and solve these problems in the future.work with you to detect and solve problems.In 1987
Unfortunately, all they heard was "She is out to findGary co-founded a company with $4,000 in start-up
someone to blame!" Their brains subsequently floodedmoney. Over the years the company grew from 2 to
and they shifted into defense mode.I invited Debra to2200 employees. ACI Telecentrics, Inc. became the
consider a question-based approach to generate25th largest call center outsourcer in the United States.
behavioral change. Rather than calling out individuals in"City Business," a Minneapolis/St. Paul publication,
a public setting (which creates more tension and,distinguished Gary as one of their "40 under 40" award
therefore, quicker flooding), here is what I suggestedwinners. Besides serving on the board for ACI
she do:1. Speak with individual department heads whenTelecentrics, Gary has been a board member of 9
you detect a problem in their specific areas.2. Start bydifferent corporations, ranging from non-profit
asking a general question ("How are things going inorganizations to financial institutions. Gary received his
your area?").3. Keep an open mind. If you let the teamundergraduate degree from the University of
member dictate the conversation, you might learn thatMinnesota and attended Harvard Business School. He
there are problems that dwarf the potato shelf-lifehas participated in several leadership programs at
issue. Or you might find that the shelf life was ainstitutions including the Covey Leadership Center and
concession made as part of a larger cost/benefitDisney University and the Aspen Institute as a Crown
calculation. Or you might find that the team memberfellow. He is now a respected Executive Coach and
has been having personal problems that could bethe founder of C02Partners.
contributing to his or her poor performance.4. If you